This is the life of a girl who can't help but be envied or secretly hated, whether it be family or friends.... her inner self is an angry short tempered kid and her outer self is a calm, mellow, weird and humorous black chick from Toronto. Though she doesn't like to believe that she's the best...

there seems to be a lot of proof that she is. This is the online diary of that girl, who is also me. Though you've joined in a bit late... I'll be sure you catch up.

When I was thirteen, I liked reading, eating spaghetti, and watching fantasy war movies. I still like doing those things. These girls and I have nothing in common, not then, not now.

i know right…. but i had classmates like them


When I was thirteen, I liked reading, eating spaghetti, and watching fantasy war movies. I still like doing those things. These girls and I have nothing in common, not then, not now.

i know right…. but i had classmates like them

celebratory photo for my mild success! 

celebratory photo for my mild success! 

My Name’s Risa.. and I wanna say…


I am so happy that everyone is slowly starting to see how this one bitch…who used to be my friend.. is actually a snake, two-faced, no good friend. She used to be cool.. but then changed somehow and turned into a dumb bitch. My friend surprised me the other day when she said ” I don’t deal with her anymore”. Especially how she is one of the nicest out of all my buddies. 

It’s a refreshing moment in my life right now.

When snakes get revealed… it’s the best shit ever. Cause everyone thought I WAS A BITCH. But now they’re seeing how RIGHT I was.



Maybe it’s unfair of me to be this melodramatic. Clearly, there are a large number of Canadians who felt Harper was the best man for the job. But this is my country too, and I am afraid of what is going to happen under a Conservative majority lead by Stephen Harper. The idea of Canada under a…

(Source: tindog)

Benny Benassi Feat Chris Brown

—Beautiful People


Chris Brown, “Beautiful People”

My daily song to get me motivated! Live your life, Live your life…

What to do..

When things in your life are going up and down. My life is always like that.

As soon as a GREAT thing happens a TERRIBLE things occurs and vice versa, is it so hard for everything to go right now and then? Ugh. I have one ore month of my “victory lap” and if I don’t get things right this time, I am really going to hate myself. I need this more than anyone. I want this more than anyone. Thus I am going to have to try my very best to achieve what I need to achieve. 

People think it’s easy for me…

They think because I am smart and all that good shit, that life is easy for me. No. Not at all, cause unfortunately with this intelligence, I am also very procrastinative, it’s an illness! So… in plain english.. I make my own life difficult for myself. I know what I have to do.. but never do it right when I have to do it. 

Hopefully I can come out of this alive.

"Rebecca Black Swag" 2011 MC Showcase (by TimothyDeLaGhetto2)

"…bout to get more hits then Rebecca Black did….. bitch.

Rebbecca Black swag son.”

What girls are mostly about…

Girls are crazy.

They want to be on top of their shit, and if it’s not the Shit (in general) than they want to be on top of what THEY believe is THEIR shit. If you come up outta no where with this random attitude as if YOU are the new Queen of the shit… 





kill you.

I mean, I am not only talking from experience! I mean, I was watching Real World L.A today, and these girls were all coming down on Brooke, the new girl cause she was hanging out with the guys. Also, because she made a comment about a girl’s boyfriend being cute. They came down on her like a TYPHOON up in that bitch!

Why? Because they felt threatened that their shit was being taken away from them. Shit that frankly wasn’t their’s to claim in the first place. 

Am I like that?

Hell no! 

As soon as I see someone else claim their shit, I am outta there. I almost waltzed into a Love Triangle and as soon as I noticed I waltzed RIGHT BACK the fuck OUT! Cause guys think it’s funny. They think ” Oh yeah, I m talking to this one bitch and I’m also flirting with her friend! Haha I’m such a a G!” But thats not how it goes gentlemen…

That shit… is not fucking funny.

Girls will go OFF on one another for that shit. They will cause Havoc over stuff like that, not just over the guy.. but over the “principles” and “respect” factors of the whole thing.


Why are girls like that? i have no idea. Not all of them are like that… but the ones that are?

They’re usually dumbass whore-like or whore-ish bitches who have nothing better to do/talk about or have very low self-esteem and can’t handle a little truth. Especially that the truth of the matter is…

They don’t own shit. They aren’t on top of any shit. They may be confident in some areas, but it’s not RESERVED for themsleves.

Truth hurts ladies and gents… but you cant argue with it.

Where oh where has my love gone, where oh where can he be?

Playing Gears Of War 3. 

He almost always ditches me for video games, I mean yeah I understand how fun video gaming can be, especially if you’re really good…. but even my GUY FRIENDS are dying with laughter at how addicted he is to this shit. 

I admit to being addicted to some of his games, but when all was over I stopped… and I let him do what he wants.. but I still want to be contacted from time to time. I could be dying and he wouldn’t know.

There are days when I feel like I could just leave him. Get what I want from someone who would give it to me.



I dont know, maybe my glasses. They help me out a lot.

Girlfriend Defect…

 ( 4:42AM)

Apology for ….

Not being the best I can be.

Not putting more of myself into helping you.

Being a tad selfish from time to time.

I’m not always a strong person, and I’m not always a hero. I let my mind carry on without me for a long time and, as usual, let it return when the damage has already been done. I can only try and use my renewed mind to clean up as much as I can.

I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible for what has happened, and I want to help you as much as I can. I want to do all that I can.. but I need you to be there with me.

Don’t give up.

Don’t let it go.

Don’t let these mishaps guide you to ruins.

If I have to, I’ll be braver and I’ll be our own saviour in order to rescue you and give you all that you’ve given me.

I always think to myself how I can change to be less of a bother for you… and though I may have a lot of defects with the way I treat you.. I don’t want it to look like it’s easy for you to be deserted. I don’t want to leave you and I want to carry on with my dream… which believe it or not involves you … not being a hobo.

I won’t let you fall off the edge of this cliff and I won’t let yo waste away all your potential, that you know you have. You know you can do.. you just really held back this time around. If it IS my fault I wont leave you until I fix it.

Then you can get a new girlfriend who doesn’t hit you, yell at you or calls you mean, and acts as motivation for you to try harder and harder everyday.

However, I won’t let you say I didn’t try, I did. I tried to make you go to school many times, but you wouldn’t go. Though, I kept thinking that you would be able to get back on track no matter how long it took yo to go back to school. You shouldn’t have waited for me… you know how incompetent I can be sometimes.

Though you’re probably better without me, I want to assist you in anyway I can until I see that you’ve got everything under control.

Love you.